Elder Abuse - how to help

Elder abuse is a growing concern.  It can affect our neighbors and people in our community.  I spent many years working with abused, neglected, and financially exploited elders.  What I learned is that abuse affects both rich and poor.  It is an all too common problem and we need to work together to stop it.  If you suspect an elder or disabled person may be abused in any way, please call to report it. 

The person calling to file a report of suspected abuse remains confidential.  Sometimes people do not call to file a report of abuse because they fear the elder or suspected abuser will know who called.  It is the law that the person filing the report always remains confidential.  As a person calling, you can also choose to remain anonymous. 

Report, report again, and if needed call again.  People don’t always understand an elder’s right to self-determination, meaning each of us has the right to make bad decisions, even if they harm us.  We live in America and have that right.  But it does not mean anyone should give up trying.  You never know when someone will be ready to accept help.  Perhaps you called to report suspected abuse once or twice and nothing happened?  Are you still concerned and witnessed another incident?  Call again.  Elders, or anyone, being abused or neglected often refuse help initially.  However persistence works, and you never know when someone is ready to accept help. 

There was an elderly couple whose son was addicted to drugs, he stole their money, ate their meals on wheels, and was verbally and physically abusive.  Protective Services was called many times, and the couple always refused help.  The husband was pushed down a flight of stairs, received substantial injuries, and hospitalized.  The wife continued to refuse help.  The wife had been saving jars and jars of pennies in her attic.  She believed that one day the government would stop making pennies and they would become very valuable.  Her pennies were her retirement plan.  One day, the wife went into the attic and found her son had stolen all of her pennies.  That was the day the wife called protective services and agreed to accept help.  The trigger point for each person to accept help is different.  If you are concerned about suspected abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation please call to report it.  It might be the day someone decides to say “yes” to accepting help.

Neglect is not always intentional.  Quite often I have seen elders neglected not out of malice, but because their caregiver simply did not know how to properly care for them.  Perhaps they did not understand the implications of dementia, or of an elder’s complex medical needs.  Often people have big hearts, but fail to provide adequate care for lack of knowledge.  There is help available.  Call to get them help.  The goal of protective services is not to punish anyone, the goal is to offer help and to improve an elder's quality of life.

To call in a report of suspected abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation:

In New Hampshire call the Bureau of Elderly & Adult Services (BEAS) at (603) 271-7014 or toll Free from within NH at (800) 949-0470. 

In Massachusetts during normal business hours you can call your local elder services or call the Elder Abuse Hotline anytime at 800-922-2275.

Karen Campbell is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Innovative Aging.  Geriatric Care Managers work with elders and their loved ones to evaluate their needs and create a comprehensive service plan. To learn more please visit www.innovativeagingllc.com.